The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

01:09 Oct 27 2009
Times Read: 726

Well, LordV and I aren't wine drinkers, but he went out and had to get these. He figured they were appropriate for the season.

Ok, the first two...Vampire wines.







Yeah, their blurry, but I never claimed to be a photographer. One is Merlot the other is Cabernet Sauvignon.The Vampire Wine, comes from the Vampire winery's on the California coast.









This is a Zombie Zinfandel and Witches Brew. The Witches Brew is an ale, of old times gone by. The zombie zin is described as:



"2007 Zombie zinfandel is blood-red in color, horridly rich in concentrated fruit flavors with a finish that never dies..."



Cellered and bottled by Zombie Cellars, Healdsburg, CA.



We shared the Zombie Zinfandel with Silverbow and Khornesone, when he was on leave. Its not as blood red as some of the others, but with some experimentation, mixing other Zinfandels in with it, we finally got the right color lol.



We also got an extra bottle of Mead, a honey wine, to send to the ladies down in Kentucky. They intend to use it during their Samhain ritual. Hope you ladies enjoy!!!

20:51 Oct 23 2009
Times Read: 737

Received the other day:





good day to you aunt chordewa it has been forever since i have talked to you. do you even remember your nephew?







O_O



Ummmmm, my nephew is 4. Damn, he is typing well!!! Need to teach him about the shift key, though.

22:16 Oct 19 2009
Times Read: 751




I was walking with CelestiaNocturne this morning, about love. We both found, that having someone love you unconditionally, someone trust you, love you, cherish you.....you gain confidence in yourself and what you can accomplish in your life.



Not long after the conversation, this song came on the tv. Its an oldie (yeah, let me get out my cane) but a goody and it says everything. Most of you know, I have had two divorces, but this is the only one I can see, being an everlasting love. This is the one I have waited for all my life. I'm glad we found one another.



I Love you LordV.

---

This will be, an everlasting love - Natalie Cole



Ooh...ooh...

Oh...oh...

Ooh...oh...oh...yeah

Mmm...mmm...mmm...mmm...



This will be

An everlasting love

This will be

The one I've waited for

This will be

The first time anyone has loved me, oh...oh...oh...



I'm so glad

He found in time

And I'm so glad that

He rectified my mind

This will be

An everlasting love for me, whoa, ho



Loving you

Is some kind of wonderful

Because you've shown me

Just how much you care

You've given me the thrill of a lifetime

And made me believe you've got more thrills to spare, oh



This will be

And everlasting love, oh, yes, it will now



You've brought a lot of sunshine into my life

You've filled me with happiness I never knew

You gave me more joy than I ever dreamed of

And no one, no one can take the place of you



This will be, yes, siree, eternally

Huggin' and squeezin' and kissin' and pleasin' together forever through rain or whatever

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you and me

So long as I'm livin' true love I'll be givin', to you I'll be servin' cause you're so deservin'



Hey, you're so deservin'

You're so deservin', yeah, yeah, yeah

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

The love, the love, the love, the love, the love, the love, love, love, love, love

The love, the love, the love, the love, the love, the love, love, love

From now on, from now on, from now on, from now on

From now on, from now on, from now on, from now on

From now on, from now on, from now on, from now on

23:04 Oct 16 2009
Times Read: 767

LordV and I have been having issues with our laptops, each about 5 years old. First, mine died and then his gave him the blue screen of death.



So, he looked at me and said, lets go. We went to the local electronics store (frys.com) and came home with 2 new laptops.



This is mine. Just click on the picture, to go and see the specs.

Right now, my only issue, is getting use to Vista Windows. Although, I think I am going to send in for the free upgrade, that I get for Windows 7. Plus I'm not use to the keyboard. I keep typing along and deleting myself, because my thumbs drag over the mouse pad.



Thanks hon, for the early Xmas present. Love you.

KITCHEN CAPERS!!!!
20:58 Oct 13 2009
Times Read: 781

Not much has been going on, but I have noticed something interesting. It seems Dusty, our cat, and Maddie have been being co-conspirators in the kitchen capers.



First, meet Dusty:

Dusty at first, hid from the dogs, when we first brought them together. After all, he got his name from hiding out for 2 weeks and then appearing, covered in dust bunnies. So, for the dogs and cat to meet, I ended up, having to close all the doors and escape routes. Once Dusty slapped Maddie and Harley across the face, the dominance was set.



While Harley was alive, Dusty and her would go through attempting to dominant each other. Harley would jump at Dusty and bark. Dusty would come up behind Harley and swipe her on the ass.



With Harley gone, this play has continued with Maddie and Dusty. Although, I think truly, Dusty is the Master.



When LordV or I yell at Maddie for growling or for her to get out of our way, Dusty will come up behind her and swat her on the butt and hiss at her. I sit there yelling at my Dusty, "I don't need your help!!"



The other night, Maddie and Dusty were laying on the living room floor, looking at each other. They then both walked down the hallway, into the kitchen together.



Curious, I decided to follow silently. As I turned the corner, I saw Maddie patiently laying down, looking up at Dusty, who was perched on the sink. I watched as Dusty, picked up a piece of chicken from the plate in the sink and dropped it on the floor for Maddie. Then turned and grabbed one for himself.



I yelled and they both slinked off, their mission accomplished.



Last night, I again noticed that both Maddie and Dusty had disappeared into the kitchen. I had made Roast Pork Loin with Jack Daniels Mesquite Marinade. When I cut it, there were 3 small pieces left in the sauce. I left them there intending to put them away, after dinner.



So, again, Maddie and Dusty disappeared. I went in and found the cat, on the stove, leaning over the pork juices, marinade dripped down the front of my oven and Maddie licking the rug in front of the oven, where it had dripped and the pork all gone.



So, apparently my Cat and Dog are working together, to get the scraps from dinner every night. WTH!!

03:31 Oct 06 2009
Times Read: 810






Don't mind me, just going to rant a bit....



Its hard to realize, when you are deemed disabled, that you cannot work anymore. I have been working since I was 15, paying my own way. I was proud of that. Proud that I could budget, that I paid for my own car payment, that I didn't have to ask for money from my parents.



Then I got married for the first time. My first husband drank away all of our savings and then started working on our checking. To keep this abusive bastard happy, I was robbing from Paul to pay Peter, while he spent our money at strip clubs getting lap dances. We were living paycheck to paycheck and of course, it was my fault that the bills didn't get paid and that we barely had enough money to get through to the next paycheck. I remember the feeling of a constant state of panic, that they would foreclose on us, that the electricity would be turned off, or some other calamity.



So, I turned to my Mom and Dad to keep me afloat for the important stuff. My mother understood my panic and often helped me. Once my husband found out that I was hitting up my parents for help with the bills, he started attempting to hit them up for more expensive stuff, like a camper. I told him to go and ask his parents and grandparents, since they were better off than mine. Eventually, I left the ass. Only thing worthwhile I got out of that marriage, was Harley, my dog.



Husband number 2, earned good money but didn't know how to budget. So I taught him how to budget. Since we didn't have to deal with rent or mortgage, our bills were meager. But even with me working full time as an EMT and him working at the local power plant, we were having trouble. He wanted to attempt to become a town cop and I encouraged it, because I saw how much it meant to him. Later on, when he didn't pass the physical, of course it was my fault that he was unemployed. Of course, it had nothing to do with this 6 foot man that weighed over 300lbs. With this, he lost his job and was on unemployment for 6 months.



By this time, we were married and I had my first Multiple Sclerosis attack, that left me unable to feel from midback down and fatigue that would keep me in bed for 18 hours out of the day. It was a tough year. I ended up selling anything I could. My collection of Disney VHS's that I had collected since I was 12. Other books and DVD's, furniture, anything, just to be able to eat. Again, Mom and Dad to the rescue and would send us checks, simply to get heating oil or food for the house. I even went as far as to get a job, at a video store, to be able to get some money. I could barely walk, or stay awake for my shift, but little jobs were below my hubby, he wanted something more.



In 2005, I was awarded Social Security Disability, due to the damage that the last attack of Multiple Sclerosis did and the overwhelming fatigue that would barely allow me to function. I did the responsible thing and paid off my medical bills, the outstanding electricity, water and taxes. I filled up the heating oil and I also bought a truck for my husband, since his was dying on us.



But through it all, I was in a deep depression. I have never in my life, sat at home and did nothing. I cooked, cleaned and did laundry, but that was expected of me anyways, whether I was disabled or not. (Gotta love the West Virginia way of thinking...no offense Jay).



My relationship went sour, due to my husband's spending and his expectations of how I was suppose to spend my day. He would give me a list of things to do, no matter how I felt or was doing. He made me feel like a servant in my own home and his free time was spent, at the firehouse or out drinking with friends. I got so lonely, so depressed, that I took everything he said. That it was all my fault, that we weren't pregnant. That it was all my fault that he lost his job. That it was all my fault that we couldn't make ends meet. Even though my disability check was the only thing keeping us afloat.



I finally left this ass, when he ordered me not to go down to Florida, to take care of my father, who had just had a heart attack. He ordered me, how I was to drive to Florida and where I was to stop. Like I was an idiot or something.



Once I got to Florida, I was respected. I was ASKED to do errands and to help out my grandparents. I was asked to make dinner but also given money to go and get a pedicure, which I never had before. I felt useful and needed and wanted. That was something that I didn't feel for a long time.



I wanted to go home and share this with my husband, but he had other plans. The day after I got home, I got a two hour lecture of how things were going to be. The cell phone was being cut off. The long distance was being cut off. The internet was going to be cut off, so that I only focused on him. I'm sorry but that was cutting me off from my family, friends and support system I had online. His New Years present, was me asking for a divorce. Simply because, I couldn't live like that any longer.



But again, I was stuck, having to depend on someone, because I didn't make enough to be able to do it on my own. I had to live with family for 6 months. I had to ask my Mom and Dad, to not only come up from Florida (Mom having an MS attack and Dad still recovering from the heart attack), but to pay to get a Uhaul, to get my things out of the house. Pay to divorce the asshole and to give me someplace to stay, until I could get to NY.



Through it all, I had to depend on others and I hated that. I hated knowing that I was going to be dependent on someone for the rest of my life, because nobody can survive on the piddly check I was getting from Disability.



You have to understand. I worked as an EMT, for 15 years. I saved lives, brought babies into the world and struggled to make a difference in someone's life every day. That got taken away from me, with one blow. I went from an EMT, who was being stopped in Walmart, to be thanked by a family, for saving their daughter's life, to being told to clean out the toilet, or else.



An EMT or a Paramedic, have what I call a Paragod personality. They get their character, morals and personality from the job. They are Gods. That is how I felt. Even if I lost the patient, I could still comfort the living. It made me feel good about myself and what my purpose was here on Earth.



When I was diagnosed, when I woke up one day and couldn't feel my legs, I didn't realize that it was the beginning of the end. I was crushed. What was I suppose to do with my life now? My husband's answer was....serve/service me. He didn't understand the depression and how, being told just to take care of the house, grated at me for several reasons.



Today I find myself with that same frustration. LordV is wonderful and takes care of most the bills, such as rent, electricity, water, cable/internet and cell phones. I take care of my medical bills, some credit cards and the house (food and supplies). Some months I have a couple hundred left over to do something with, which I generally, put it back into the credit cards. But recently, I have been running out of money, almost as soon as I get it. LordV has never made me feel as if the house had to be perfect, or that he expected me to clean every day. He also is one to do the laundry and make dinner at times. I have never felt used and less of a person with LordV.



I still resent that I can't support myself. I still resent that I am sitting here, day after day twiddling my thumbs. I have a college education, with a Major in Human Anatomy and Psychology but I although my mind works, my body doesn't. Hell, I couldn't even keep a swim teacher job. I'm not sure if my disease got in the way of my attitude like they said, I just know that during the time that I did work, I didn't feel good. I was more sick and more fatigued, than if I didn't work.



Its a terrible thing to realize, to stay healthy, I can't really have a lot of contact with people, other than via the internet. I wish I could find a way to make money online, legally. Like data entry or medical transcription Or find a office job, to just input data, or file things. In the meantime, I have to come to terms, that I am disabled, trapped by the limitations of my body and that I will forever be dependent on someone else, for the roof over my head.



I know understand, why the elderly, are so scared to loose their independence. I have lost mine and in the process, lost myself.



Don't mind me. Damn hormones!!!